Our middle-school-aged children want to go to France. They’ve seen us travel there a few times on pilgrimages and personal trips. Now they’ve started asking if they can come next time. And their number one question is: What do you do there? 

Here's what: You walk around and look at things, like museums and art and historic sites and iconic structures and holy places and lots of stunningly beautiful churches. 

Unless your middle-school-aged children are Dominic Savio, Jacinta Marto, and Carlo Acutis, they’re probably as excited as mine are about a vacation spent looking at lots of churches.

But! I am here to encourage you/us: don’t let a lack of enthusiasm rob your family of an unforgettable immersion into beauty and faith. Take them to France. Take them to Italy. Take them to Lourdes and Lisieux and Fatima and Guadalupe. Take them to the sacred sites near your own home.

It’s actually deeply important to normalize the integration of faith into every part of life, including vacations and trips. Intentionally seeking the sacred teaches young people something critical for mature faith: God is not one slice of the pie of life, but the crust containing and surrounding and holding together the whole thing. 

Here are some experience-born tips for touring churches and holy sites with kids and young people: 

1. Adjust your expectations. Everyone will be ten million times happier if you simply do this one thing. Whether they're littles, middles, or teens, be realistic about how they will respond to a particular site. I may fervently wish my kids would share some dramatic spiritual experience, but these are the same people who respond "k" to my paragraphs-long texts of affirmation. I may yearn to see tears spring to their eyes at the sight of ancient vaulted arches and mind-blowing relics, but these are the same people who prefer a box of mac and cheese to foie gras. Almost all frustrations can be predicted and preempted by realistic expectations.

2. Give them something to look for or count. My teenage son's greatest love in life is the New Orleans Saints. Would he care about the remarkable history and impossible stained glass masterpieces of Sainte-Chapelle in Paris? Unlikely (see number 1). But he may care that Sainte-Chapelle is loaded with iterations of the fleur di lis, which happens to be the helmet icon of his football team. I'd tell him to try to count how many he sees, or to find which one is his favorite. Do a little preparation and give your kids something specific to look for, count, or locate within a particular site. If you need help, this is my speciality—contact me.

3. Have them develop and write specific prayer intentions. A beautiful Catholic tradition is physically carrying intentions for others to holy sites. Provide materials and invite them to write down specific intentions for loved ones, friends, and their own personal needs. You can do this ahead of your visit, and even solicit written intentions from others. Most churches and holy sites have receptacles for depositing the written intentions. This is a truly sacramental act: we do something in the visible, physical, sensory part of our existence that reaches into and engages the invisible, spiritual part of us.

4. Assign them to take specific photos. Turn those devices to your advantage and send them on a photo shoot. Ask them to take photos of specific objects, or to capture their ten favorite things about the particular site.

5. Point out something shocking, funny, or weird. Incorruptible bodies of the saints? A bizarre relic? Something wild in a statue or painting (images of the martyrs are especially loaded with fodder—eyeballs on platters, people carrying their own heads)? In Lisieux, for example, there's a creepy diorama of St Thérèse's life that isn't supposed to be funny, but definitely is. It's okay to notice and giggle. Nobody does weird like the Catholics, and that's a wonderful thing to fascinate young imaginations.

6. Connect with music. Many churches and holy sites host free choir and organ concerts, sung vespers, or even public practices. Check whether you can time your visit to coincide with music. A 700-year-old organ roaring through a thousand-year-old cathedral melts your bones, and young people won't forget the sensory majesty. You can also make them a short playlist of specific songs that relate to the particular site, invite them to listen to it while they walk around, then ask them if they figured out the connections.

7. Light all the candles. If there are votive candles available, give your young people a few dollars to light several candles. Fire always engages.  

8. Don’t stay too long. In keeping with realistic expectations, set a realistic timeframe. Unless you're worshiping at Mass or a designated holy hour, most visits to holy sites can be both reverent and relatively brief. The goal is to expose your young people to the riches of our faith without triggering their restlessness.

9. Ice cream (or pizza). You know this drill; you've been doing it since they were toddlers. Balance a visit to a church or holy site with something that's just light and fun. Well-timed treats are an essential tool—and enjoying a gelato or glacé is a cultural experience.

__________

Contact me. I am a Catholic author, artist, speaker, and travel advisor.

I'd love to collaborate with you on your next retreat, day of reflection, pilgrimage, trip, or event.