Europe is like America’s cool older sister who transcends trends, drops sophisticated literary allusions, and makes jeans look effortlessly chic. As many little sisters do, Americans often look to Europe with aspirational eyes. The riches of culture and history! The walkable cities filled with iconic landmarks! The wine! The food! The pharmacy products! 

I’m first to praise Europe’s insistence on living more slowly, its emphasis on beauty, quality, and heritage, and its treasures of history and faith. I cherish every opportunity to visit Europe. I keep a running “Euro stock up” note on my phone (cotton tees, socks, notebooks, and kitchen towels, to name a few items on the list).  I could sing epic ballads for the gloriously functional public transit (a galaxy apart from New Orleans’ streetcar system). I would love nothing more than to help you plan an unforgettable trip or pilgrimage to Europe. 

But today I’m here to give you unabashed permission not to swoon. Let’s start with a piping-hot take that I would make only from the safe distance of North America: I don’t like the coffee in Italy. There it is, y’all. Scandal! While I am admittedly picky about coffee to the point of absurdity, I don’t love espresso. In Italy, the heavy emphasis on tiny thimbles of espresso makes it almost impossible to find really good, classic brewed coffee. When I travel to Italy (and everywhere else, actually), I bring my own coffee press. 

• Related: How to make coffee on a moving bus

Now, didn’t that feel liberating? Exhilarating? Are you ready for some more unpopular travel takes? Me too! Who knows where such vulnerable honesty will lead? Allow me to share a few more of my unpopular opinions about European travel so that you, too, can be free. 

What’s with the European “no milk in your coffee after breakfast” rule? Black coffee has its place, and that place is Lent. The rest of the year, I want to honor God’s gifts of tastebuds and coffee beans with some heavy cream. 

And can we admit that European coffee is utterly too small (cf our discussion of espresso above)? I get that Euro cars have to fit through tiny medieval alleys, but why can’t I get more than two tablespoons of coffee per serving? 

I also object to the European notion that you must always sit down to savor your coffee/drink/snack. Actually, maybe I can be convinced about exclusively sit-down snacks. But I was born and raised in the mythical land of go-cups where not only do you walk around with drinks, but those drinks usually contain (gasp) alcohol. Leaving neon daiquiris aside, what is more wonderful than a long, meandering stroll through a beautiful place with a cup of something delicious in hand? 

You do not need to see Mona Lisa. I have found the most famous painting in the world to be small, underwhelming, and less beautiful than 10,000 other artworks in the Louvre. She’s also surrounded by throngs of tourist paparazzi who cram the gallery and thrust their phones and cameras across your field of vision. My advice: Peek in from the hallway to lay eyes on Mona Lisa so people won’t hassle you about omitting her. But you should feel 100 percent free to skip the crowds and queues in favor of enjoying other works. 

While we're in France: going up the Eiffel Tower isn’t worth it unless you love standing in endless queues like a veal just so you can ride an elevator and catch a very bland, often fog-obscured city view. You should absolutely experience the magical twinkling tower lights from the lush Champ de Mars. But actually going up the tower offers very little payoff other than being able to say, “I went up the Eiffel Tower.”  You can find dozens of genuinely breathtaking views over Paris, and those views, unlike the ones from the Eiffel decks, actually feature the tower in the skyline. 

Irish food, and most English food too, is tragically bland. I’m here for beef and potatoes and everything stew-y, but could we get some basic seasoning? Garlic? Pepper? Salt? 

Which reminds me that European dinner is too late. I’ve savored dozens of spectacular meals in Europe, but come on: 10:45 pm (er, 20:45) is just a ridiculous time to be eating unless it’s a whole bag of chips while you watch just one more episode. 

And finally, dear Europe, ice ought not to be a prize for the elite, but the birthright of every drink served in the age of refrigeration. 

Ultimately, the point of travel isn’t fulfilling some obligatory set of experiences, or returning with crowdsourced opinions. It’s deeply valuable to seek insight so you can maximize your trip, but your itinerary should always be personal. The point of travel is challenging us, awakening our wonder and discovery, leading us to conversations and memories and prayer we wouldn’t have otherwise found. Traveling someplace new or different refreshes our seeing and hearing, our tasting and smelling, and we encounter God by encountering the work of His hands. Travel requires us to pay deeper attention not only to our surroundings, but also to each other. Travel can bring us to closer communion with each other, God, and His goodness, creativity, and beauty. 

Let’s go!

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Contact me. I am a Catholic author, artist, speaker, pilgrimage leader, and travel concierge.

I'd love to collaborate with you on your next retreat, day of reflection, pilgrimage, trip, or event.

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