Books that changed how I love my husband

Aimee Boudreaux MacIver
5 hours ago
3 min read

For the past several years, Colin and I have served as a mentor couple for engaged couples preparing for marriage. This ministry is one we received during our own engagement. Now married nearly 25 years, I almost laugh at the notion that a few meetings (or anything, really) can truly prepare anyone for the realities of marriage. And neither can any of these books, so that’s not the goal in sharing this list. Rather, these books have given me some weighty insights into authentic love as it applies to the vocation to marriage and family.

Sinner's Guide to NFP: When we got married, our prep program sold NFP as a magical marriage tonic. Reality: NFP can be both unexpectedly beautiful and wildly challenging. I appreciate this book's honest take that not only offers solidarity, but also practical insights for embracing the fullness of God's design.
Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Of course, St John Paul II is one of my ride or die spiritual heroes. His Theology of the Body changed the entire trajectory of my career and life. This work examines TOB in a super approachable, digestible way that aligns more realistically with an average crazy family schedule than thick theological treatises.
Couples, Awaken Your Love : This work from the bold, luminous Cardinal Robert Sarah is the portable version of a retreat he preached to married couples, and invites couples of all backgrounds and places in life to "find again the preciousness of the love that binds them, no matter how hidden it may be."
A Call to a Deeper Love: The Family Correspondence of the Parents of Saint Therese of the Child Jesus: St Zelie Martin (mother of St Therese of Lisieux) wrote prolific letters that are a treasury of insight into how a saint navigates marriage and family life, with all its ordinary stress and complications and all its wonders.
The Screwtape Letters: C.S. Lewis' spiritual masterpiece isn't about marriage at all, but about human condition. I cannot measure how much it's helped me recognize the places in living my vocation where I need to be refined.
A Family of Saints: The Martins of Lisieux: I am admittedly predisposed to love anything related to St Therese, so this extremely thorough biography of her family appealed to me right away. The first time I read it, didn't put it down for a week. I'm talking a one-handed week, y'all. What I really loved about this book, though, wasn't the part devoted specifically to Therese. The first few chapters delved into the life stories of both Zelie and Therese's father, St Louis Martin, referencing their personal letters and journals in a way that made it possible for a lazy American working mom to feel connected to two of the holiest people who ever ate baguettes.
Mothers of the Saints: This is one of my favorite books of all time, where I first read about St Zelie Martin and St Margaret of Scotland. It is now out of print, but no worries—you can usually find used copies. I love the very simple, no-frills biographies of about a dozen women who reared future saints or were canonized themselves. The real gem in this book is the end of each chapter, where the author lists several "For Your Life" bullet points of practical applications drawn from these women's lives. P.S. This book makes an excellent a gift for wedding or baby showers.
Three to Get Married: Full disclosure: just getting through the first paragraph takes forever—not because it’s too thick or cerebral to understand, but because every sentence is good enough to be its own post. I find myself saying that’s good, must highlight… and then looking back to realize I have highlighted the entire page. There are few spiritual masters more practical and profound than F.J. Sheen.
By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride: I once met Alice von Hildebrand, the author of this classic, at the home of my college professor who was close friends with her. Her wisdom here is a priceless treasury for any wife seeking to be, as she calls it, "an artist of love." She addresses the highs and lows, the ordinariness and the transcendence of marriage.