I love New Orleans more than you could imagine, but as St Edith Stein said, "Accept nothing as love that lacks truth." So, the truth about my beloved New Orleans in summer is that you will melt like a candy bar left on a hot dashboard. You will sweat from body parts you did not know you could. You will feel like you're walking through warm pudding. I believe you can learn to love a Louisiana summer, but I'd also like to offer some tips for how not to die in the humidity.
Accept it. Let's begin with this mindset check: You could have come to New Orleans in March or April, and you probably should have, but here you are now. So let's confront reality and then embrace it. You will be extraordinarily hot. You will sweat. Your makeup will slide off your face, down your neck, and then drip off your fingertips. You can't change that, but you can have a blast anyway.
Hydrate. You already know this one. So let's discuss where hydrating leads: needing a bathroom. You can find decent, safe public restrooms inside Jax Brewery and at the French Market.
Wear light, loose clothing and ensure laundry access. New Orleans summer is no time for waistbands, buttons, or—for the love—jeans. I want you to pack your wide-leg linen pants with the stretchy waist, your flowy, paper-thin cotton maxidresses, and whatever is the opposite of layers. I know travel advisories always warn you to bring a sweater just in case, but remember: love/truth/etc. Do not bring a sweater. If you can, stay somewhere with laundry because you will not be able to rewear summer clothes.
Eat tons of snowballs. This is probably my most critical advice for summer survival. If you've only ever had shaved ice and snow cones, then snowballs (sometimes spelled snoballs) will change your life. Like a true before and after defining moment. Snowballs are made of ice so fine that it's almost creamy, with flavors that totally absorb so you'll never get any ice chunks floating in pools of syrup. You'll likely have to choose from 30-plus flavor options at most snowball stands; I recommend starting with wedding cake or nectar. You can find a host of great snowball stands around the city. Some of our favorites are LouLou's (the best sugar-free options); Pandora's (right near City Park); Imperial Woodpecker (creative and elevated flavors); and of course the venerable Hansen's Sno Bliz. On the Northshore, try Flying Dolly's (they also have amazing homemade icecream) and LouLa (offering an excellent low-sugar chocolate option). Any flavor will dramatically cool off your core temperature; when it rises again, get another snowball.
Use alcohol. I know it's New Orleans, but this tip is not what you think. Bring alcohol-infused body wipes and swipe them over your arms, neck, and legs to both freshen up and cool off. The rapid-evaporation nature of alcohol will give you a surprisingly effective boost. Try these, these, or these.Â
Take air-conditioning breaks. The French Quarter, with its winding historic streets and iconic architecture, must be walked to be truly absorbed. You'll want the flexibility to pop in tiny storefronts and duck into alleys. But you will also need to take some air-conditioning breaks to keep up your stamina. Walk through a hotel lobby like the Hotel Monteleone or the Roosevelt; many are open to the public for viewing their beautiful interiors or having drinks at the hotel bar. You can also visit St Louis Cathedral, Immaculate Conception, or Our Lady of Guadalupe to pray and cool down. Try museums like the free Historic New Orleans Collection or the low-cost Presbytere, Old Ursuline Convent Museum, or Jazz Museum. Cohen and Sons Antiques is technically a rare weapons shop, not a museum, but it's filled with fascinating artifacts and ice-cold AC. And of course, there are many wonderful shops in the French Quarter: I'm always happy to visit Hové Parfumeur, Dauphine Street Books, and the antique galleries on Royal Street. Across town, the New Orleans Museum of Art is free on Wednesdays for Louisiana residents and $20 for general admission. It contains an impressive collection of Impressionist, Renaissance, and modern masters displayed in frigid bliss.
Ride instead of walk. Take a shady streetcar ride through the stunning Garden District with block after block of beautiful estates canopied by sprawling, centuries-old live oaks. The historic St Charles Avenue streetcar is a charming experience in its own right. Rides cost $1.25 each way; use exact change or buy and use tickets in the Le Pass app. You can also pick up a Jazzy Pass that confers unlimited rides for three days after activation. Fun tip: the streetcar seats can click to face either direction, so you can click them to face each other for a grouping of four.  The streetcar is an active public transit system, so be mindful of locals using it for their commutes.
Choose inside activities. Some of our favorite indoor activities are the world-class Audubon Aquarium and the character-rich Rock N'Bowl, which both serves ice-cold beer and welcomes kids. Lakeside Shopping Center offers a really cool castle-themed indoor playground for kids under 51 inches tall. It's free and includes a nursing room, baby changing facilities, and family restrooms.
Get on the water. You don't need to be in the water to benefit from it: you'll pick up a nice breeze (and maybe a refreshing spritz) on the Algiers Ferry that rides across the Mississippi and back ($2 each way; use Le Pass app). You can also rent a kayak, canoe, or paddleboard to paddle down Bayou St John (one of my favorite neighborhoods).
Get in the water. If you're looking for some beautiful hotel pools that are open to the public with purchase of a day pass, look here. The Audubon Zoo also contains a small water park called the Cool Zoo with a lazy river, cabanas, and other water features. If you're already in the zoo, you can also look for the faux waterfall on Monkey Hill to splash for free.
Find shade. There's pure magic in the live oak tree grove at City Park. Oaks ranging from 500 to 800 years old form living tunnels of blessed, dense shade. Spanish moss drapes down from limbs that ramble along the ground, begging you to climb into their embrace. You can rent canopied surrey bikes to amble through the grove, then stop for an iced coffee at the Café du Monde located by the playground, or head on to Pandora's for a snowball.
Drink appropriately. I once saw a travel post advising visitors to New Orleans to drink piña coladas. I guess, if that's your drink. And I totally get that it's overwhelming just to be somewhere you can drink alcohol served in go cups (that means "to go"). Bright-pink hurricanes offer with a little more local flavor, but honestly I'd avoid those, too; in general, take it easy on the super-sugary spiked sips in summer. Choose alcoholic drinks with a lighter body and lower sugar so you don't dehydrate yourself.
And finally, here's one thing you may be tempted to consider on a hot July day, but DO NOT: the swan boats on Big Lake at City Park.
We took one for the team and did the swans so y’all don’t have to. And you really don’t have to. Don’t be fooled by this adorable family photo: it was taken before we melted into pools of our own sweat on white-hot plastic, peddling at top-gear resistance but going literally nowhere on a very small pond misnomered "Big Lake," with nary a breeze to cool or cloud to shade while the ducks and geese and real swans laughed at us.
Laissez les bon temps rouler.
Always love the cool zoo at Audubon! Even when the kids are too old, I think we will still sneak in!