So here's the excellent news about high-stakes football games in the Superdome: if your team wins, you're in the best place in the world to celebrate, and if your team loses, you're in the best place in the world to cheer up. Either way, you're in New Orleans and she won't ever leave you without comfort. (As a passionate Saints fan, I know well this truth.)

If you're visiting for the Super Bowl, or just any time, here are some insider tips from locals. I asked my friends for their wisdom, and it came like many other things in New Orleans: a little random, in happy chaos, meandering like a lazy river.

Welcome to the Big Easy!

1. "Say please and thank you in shops and restaurants and on the sidewalk, and if you make eye contact with anyone anywhere, smile and say hello."

   
   

2. "New Orleans is pronounced 'New Oar-lins,' not 'N'Awlins' or 'New Or-leens.'"

   
   

3. "If you order a poboy and they ask if you want it dressed, they're asking if you want it with lettuce, tomato, and mayo."

   

4. "If anyone in the French Quarter approaches you to say 'I bet I know where you got those shoes,' it's a little hustle. The answer is 'on your feet.' They will also want a few dollars if you engage this little joke."

   
   

5. "Do not eat anywhere with the word 'Nola' in its name. Nobody here says that. Dead giveaway that it's a tourist trap."

   
   

6. "Take the streetcar out of the French Quarter and downtown to eat in the neighborhoods. Try Superior Seafood or Camellia Grill along the St Charles line for great local food and service."

   

7. "The French Quarter location of Café du Monde is cash only, but the location in City Park accepts credit cards and is way less crowded."

   
   

8. "The streetcar is charming and historic, but it's really slow-moving and it doesn't come on a strictly predictable schedule like other city metros or subways. The streetcar app is ideal for tickets but the app's streetcar tracker is often more a ballpark time frame than actual real-time."

   

9. "Go-cups are for alcoholic beverages that you take with you on the move. A walking beer is exactly what it sounds like. Yes, you can buy alcohol at the drugstore and drink on the streets here, but be cool about it."

   
   

10. "No open toe shoes for walking around the French Quarter. Wear tennis shoes. And by the way: tennis shoes are sneakers. Nobody is going to play tennis."

    

11. "You will encounter numerous, gloriously massive pot holes around the city streets. Don't fall in, whether that's your rental car or yourself. However, please enjoy how New Orleans neighborhoods often festoon their potholes with streamers and satirical decorations. Only here."

    
    

12. "Skip the endless lines at Mother's and get poboys at Parkway instead (in Bayou St John/Mid-City)."

    
    

13. "Lagniappe means something extra, a fun bonus. Whoever offers you a little lagniappe probably likes you."

    

14. "Take a long walk somewhere. The best part of New Orleans are the neighborhoods full of color and life. Some of the best art in the city is on overpasses and building walls. You won't see anything like it anywhere else."

    
    

15. "Yes, of course, you can get daiquiris at a drive-through. No, you cannot drink them while you drive. Duh. Why is this so confusing to tourists?"

    
    

16. "If you stop to watch, photograph, or video street performers, tip them cash or through their Venmo. These are not hobbies, but how they make a living."

    

17. "Do not eat a single bite at a chain restaurant. Do not drink a single drop of coffee at a Starbucks. This isn't Cleveland."

    
    

18. "Chicory is a tart, woody root that New Orleans roasts, grinds, and adds to its brewed coffee, especially in café au lait. A totally unique local flavor. Excellent with heavy cream!"

    
    

19. "Wedding cake is a very specific flavor, not a bakery genre. You can't have chocolate wedding cake—that's a nonsensical statement. In New Orleans, wedding cake flavor is always almond, vanilla, and a whisper of pineapple. It's perfection on snowballs."

    

20. "Snowballs are not the same as sno cones or shaved ice. So you haven't had one already and you don't know what they're like already. Most stands open in March, but Pandora's by City Park is open year round."

    
    

21. "You can find free bathrooms in the French Quarter at Jax Brewery, the French Market, and in the lobbies of public hotels."

    

22. "Streetcar etiquette: keep pushing all the way to the back, scoot over to let people sit next to you and don't take up a whole seat to yourself, and always give up your seat to older people. You can also exit from the back door so you don't have to crawl over everyone to get to the front."

    
    

23. "The Bloody Mary in the Superdome is worth the price."

    
    

24. "The French Market is not a good place to buy food and the stalls sell mostly mass-produced trinkets, not artisan work. If you want local souvenirs, look at the galleries and antique shops on Royal Street."

    

25. "Don't blow your budget on riverboat cruises. Take the Algiers ferry across the river and back. It's cheap and you can go up top or stay down at water level. From the river, the view of the city wth St Louis Cathedral in the center makes you love New Orleans even more. But be sure you don't fall in the Mississippi or you'll die."

    
    

26. "Bring your kids. Bourbon Street is for tourists, but New Orleans is for families."

    
    

27. "New Orleans will take you as you are, default to loving you, and then expect you to live up to that love."

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Contact me. I am a Catholic author, artist, speaker, and traveler.

I'd love to collaborate with you on your next retreat, day of reflection, pilgrimage, trip, or event.